Silence.

It's 3:00 in the afternoon. My days used to be filled with noise, chaos, drama, teenagers, and busyness...I was always on the go. It's also Friday, and in Texas that means Friday Night Football. If things had gone the way I planned, I'd already be on a bus on my way to Willis, TX, with the Navasota Rattlers. Instead, I sit in a new house in San Antonio where the only sounds are that of the baby monitor and the sleeping bulldog. I just thought "how did I get here, what am I doing?". My life is on repeat and every two hours are filled with the same ole thing: change diaper, drink a bottle, burp {sometimes I have to change shirts}, play with toys, sing songs, go down for a nap. My days used to be entirely unpredictable. Right now it's nap time. For two straight hours, I get the house to myself. It's a race against time to see how much I can get done {there's always laundry, picking up, dogs to let out, dinner to cook}. I just looked at the video monitor, smiled and felt my heart skip a beat. My boy is sleeping peacefully. Oh wait, there's a wimper...he needs his paci put back in. Whew! Now he's playing with his lovey and talking to himself until he falls back asleep. Today is day five of my being a stay-at-home-mom. I've never "not worked" a day in my life. The thing is, this is work and it's incredibly hard. At the end of the day, I am more tired from taking care of Parker than I was when pregnant and teaching 150 sophomores {how is that possible?}. I've learned so much about myself this week, and I've seen my sweet boy turn another week older. I've wept over how crazy it is that we plan out our lives. God's plan will always win. Even though I miss my school, my mama, my crazy kiddos...the day I became a Mama I signed on the dotted line that no one else on planet Earth is more important than my baby. And so, instead of teaching English, I now give a million kisses a day, act silly in order to get a little boy to grin, sing Jesus Loves Me, Somewhere Over the Rainbow, and Mama Loves You over and over. It's a different life for sure. A long time ago, I actually said "I will never be a school teacher" and little did I know it'd be the most rewarding job I've ever had. Until now. When I was pregnant, people asked me what my plans were and every single time, I talked about how I wasn't made to be a stay at home mommy and that I couldn't wait to return to work after my summer at home with Parker. Wow. Maybe soon I'll learn to never say never. Though I feel like part of my heart is still at NHS, the biggest chunk of it is here... and every time those little boy blues stare up at me I am exactly where I should be.