We spent a few minutes alone in our bedroom, just the three of us. We both professed our love and pride for Parker, hugged him tightly and waved goodbye to our family as they stood on the porch and shouted "we love you" as Daniel and I drove toward the hospital. So many emotions overcame me: anxiety, fear, excitement, nervousness...in a few days I would return to my home and life would never again look the same.
9pm - It took a matter of minutes to walk into labor and delivery. Several nurses greeted us and asked us if we were there for an induction. Apparently all the other scheduled mamas had already delivered. They walked us to our room and since we hadn't toured the hospital, explained what would happen. Total shocker -- there is NO nursery at this hospital! What!? No fair. I changed into my gown and settled into my super uncomfortable hospital bed. I was checked and still remained 2cm dilated but had effaced a little more. Blood pressure cuffs, iv's and monitors were all in place and we waited a couple of hours for Dr. Perez's orders for pitocin to arrive. It was after 11:00pm before the bag was hung. The waiting game began.
In the middle of the night --
12:30am - We tried our best to sleep, but hospitals just aren't sleep friendly. Within an hour, I was feeling contractions and growing more and more uncomfortable so I asked for demerol to ease the pain. I've never been given demerol before...holy crapola! I was drunk within seconds...laughing and crying all at the same time. I'm sure that Daniel wished he'd videoed my reaction to the drug. I remember thinking I couldn't control what I was saying! Thankfully, the demerol also made me very sleepy and I was able to nap throughout the night.
This morning --
8:34am - I'd been pretty uncomfortable all morning, but was trying to wait for the doctor to see whether or not I could have an epidural versus more demerol. In the eight o clock hour, my doctor came in and checked me. After a slow pitocin drip all night, I'd just dilated to a 3. Admittedly, I felt disappointed. I'm not sure why but I'd expected to make more progress than that. I think I was feeling like there was no way I'd have the baby early enough in the day and my family would be stuck sitting around waiting on me, driving home late at night. I didn't want to disappoint them. Dr. Perez broke my water which thankfully (because I was further along this time) wasn't painful at all. However, I wasn't at all prepared for what was coming. My doctor wanted to insert an intrauterine catheter to monitor contractions; the belly band was coming off. But I hadn't had any pain meds in over eight hours and my body was contracting like crazy so this wouldn't be easy. I was in so much pain during this procedure. It felt as though he was inserting his hand, shoving the baby's head over and trying to place this catheter inside me. With every contraction, my body kicked the catheter out and each time he tried again, I nearly bucked myself off the table. Tears rolled down my face and I gripped the bed rails and tried to breathe. Finally I heard the words "you can have an epidural". Relief washed over me though I sure wished I'd had the epidural before the catheter experience. Anesthesia was on the floor and expected to come in any time. I chose to wait them out.
9:33am - I called my Mom to check on Parker and to tell her that I wasn't sure if they should come up to the hospital. I was in so much pain that all I could do was cry and moan and cry some more. I was ready for my epidural and certainly didn't want my sweet Parker to see me in such an emotional state.
11:05am - I waited and waited and waited. It'd been almost three hours and I still hadn't seen anesthesia yet. I asked for a half a dose of demerol and let's be real...it did nothing at all to help with my pain. The anesthesiologist slowly made his way into my room. I'd been laying on my side, huffing and puffing, crying, moaning through the contractions and swearing to Daniel that this would be our last baby. Dear God! How do women make it through this? All I could think about was how this day was not going as I'd hoped or planned. It was nothing like Parker's birth. I was in so much pain! The anesthesiologist was a jerk. He wanted me sitting up, legs over the side of my bed, scooted back toward him, centered on my bottom, curving over my belly. I wanted to tell him that he should have been there sooner but I just cried. And cried. And cried some more. I felt like I was sitting on a rock (baby's head) and the contractions just would not slow. Breathing through them and holding still felt impossible. The doctor yanked and pulled and scrubbed and talked to me like I was an idiot. At one point I was hysterical and kind of hyperventilating. I couldn't catch my breath to answer the nurses question of what was wrong. Truthfully, I felt like everything was wrong. Once the drugs were in, I was finally able to lie down again so I closed my eyes to block out everything that was going on around me. I didn't want to have to look the anesthesiologist in the eye. My legs and back started to numb a little and I attempted to rest. The nurse checked me and I'd dilated to a 4.
11:22am - I called Mom again. Since I had a moment of "feel good" I let them know they could come see me before they all went out to lunch. Mom, Dad, Baba, Hannah, Bekah, Maegan, Parker and Brandi all came in to see me. Since the day was nearly half over we were not hopeful that I'd progress quickly. It made my heart feel so happy to see my Parker. Curious, he asked all sorts of questions. My favorite being "do you have your big girl panties on"? I had to answer him honestly. We all laughed at him. It felt good to feel normal for a little while. I kissed my family goodbye and promised to call with updates. We knew it'd be several hours before there was anything worth talking about so the plan was to put Parker down for a nap and touch base later.
The afternoon
1:18pm - After my family left, I went downhill. I started hurting again and badly. I tried to be tough but knew that something wasn't quite right. I was feeling every.single.thing. Again. Anesthesia was called to come back in and check on me. I wish I could have felt confidence in their ability to be timely. I couldn't talk. I hurt. Gripping the bed rail while lying on my right side and moaning and crying was the only thing that got me through the two hours. Brandi swore I was in transition. At the time, I'm not sure I remembered what transition was (turns out she was dead on). Nurse after nurse kept coming in and rubbing my arm, telling me I was doing great. It was all I could do to refrain from cussing them. Finally I opened my eyes, looked at some sweet girl and said "go tell anesthesia to hurry. they haven't hurried all day". My dose was eventually changed at what felt like way too late in the ball game. I urged my nurse to check me again since I was feeling so much pressure. I was at a 7. And hurting. She told me to stay on my right so I'd continue to thin out. Within about ten minutes (I kid you not), I looked at Daniel and Brandi and told them I thought it was time to push. The baby was there. I just knew it. Daniel went out to find a nurse to check me while Brandi anointed me with oils. I laugh when I think back to this moment. It was just the two of us and she so wanted to help, to take away my hurt. We must have looked crazy when people walked back in and saw her rubbing my feet. Finally, my favorite delivery nurse, Kris, came in and declared that I was in fact complete.
1:55pm - Time to push. Finally, relief. I kept my eyes closed and focused. The baby came down and I was told that he had hair. And after a few more pushes, I was asked to stop. Kris wouldn't leave my side. Her presence brought me comfort but I didn't like the fact that she wasn't letting me push. She called for the doctor to make his way over, and quickly. After each contraction, Pierce's heart rate wasn't properly recovering from my pushing. I assured her that I didn't mind if someone else delivered my baby and let her know that my body preferred to continue pushing. A tall Doogie Howser looking resident appeared before me and claimed that he could deliver my baby if I needed him to. I nodded and asked him to suit up. Kris asked me to keep my legs spread and breathe/blow through contractions as long as I could. We were hoping to wait for Dr. Perez.
2:10pm - Hallelujah! Dr. Perez arrived and immediately took control of the room. I heard him demand that his table be set properly. Apparently the forceps he prefers to use were not there. Foreshadowing? He had me push a few times and agreed with Kris that the baby was in some sort of distress. His heart rate still wasn't recovering. I heard him mention shoulder dystocia. He had me push the baby until he could get his hands on him. Dr Taylor (Doogie Howser) was putting counter pressure against my bottom. The door opened many times and nurses filled the corner of my room. I really had no idea what was happening. I heard the baby's heart rate slow and continue to decelerate. I opened my eyes long enough to look into Dr. Perez's eyes and I knew. I knew that I had just a few minutes to get my boy out on my own or I'd be rolled into the operating room. My doctor explained that he was going to use forceps to help get Pierce out more quickly and I experienced what can only be described as having felt my baby dug out of me.
2:29pm - I opened my eyes to silence. Pierce wasn't crying and he didn't appear to be breathing. I saw a dark colored baby. Purple, perhaps? The cord was wrapped around his neck. In just seconds Dr. Taylor cut the cord and Dr. Perez handed Pierce to the neonatologist who stood in the corner. Daniel and Brandi followed the baby. I don't remember feeling worry or fear but I'm certain I held my breath and whispered prayers until I heard my son cry. And he was fine. I couldn't see him but all the ladies in the corner exclaimed how cute he was. I lay on the table waiting to meet my baby.
3:28pm - Placenta delivered, equipment and gauze accounted for and over 45 minutes of reconstruction to my rear end, I was finally able to hold Pierce. The neonatologist came over and assured me that he was fine. She'd stimulated and suctioned him and he'd pinked right up. Someone placed Pierce in my arms and I fell in love. All over again. However, I was completely shocked by his appearance! I think I expected another "Shalley boy" but instead I held a small version of myself. I even said out loud "who's baby is this?". He was dark skinned and had a full head of dark hair. His little forehead, wide eyes and large nostrils reminded me of Rebekah.
The phone buzzed in the corner. Mom! No one had any idea what'd transpired in the last several hours and we'd had no time to tell anyone that I'd made progress let alone delivered. I called my mother and didn't have to say anything. Pierce let out his own squeak to announce his arrival. She was shocked! Parker was still napping but as soon as he was awake they'd be on their way to see our new little man. Daniel, Brandi, Pierce and I were alone in the room so I finally just spoke what was on everyone's mind with a "what the hell just happened?!?!". The last few hours had been a whirlwind of crazy and chaos. We were all a bit traumatized. Since I was starving, my sweet husband left to get my favorite snack - Cheddar's spinach dip. We devoured our food!
4:48pm - Daniel set up the video camera and left the room to get Parker. Anxiously, I waited for us to become four. And the door opened...Parker came in wearing his No. 1 Bro tshirt with a gift bag for his brother. Daniel and Parker sat beside me and Parker emptied a night night, bunny and paci on top of his brother's face. I couldn't believe how my heart could feel so much love all at once. What an incredible way God stretches us beyond our own capacity of emotion. Parker asked to hold Pierce and in just a few seconds he was done. Their meeting went better than I expected and I was relieved and happy. Oh so happy. The rest of the day is a blur. My family came in to meet Pierce and everyone held him. They helped us move to my postpartum room and after we settled in Jake, Hayley and Tate stopped by. I said goodbye to my friend and our family and made a move to shower off the day's events. Exhausted we settled in for our first night with a newborn.
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